Two Weeks Off, One Post-of-Awesomeness

I’ve had a busy start to summer, and I’ve been terrible about posting regularly (I’m working on changing our name to “Sometimes Daily Whig”). Sorry. I know these last two weeks have been rough, especially without my glorious opining. Luckily for you, I’m going to pack two weeks worth of opinions into one, streamlined post-of-awesomeness. (Yes! He’s back!) Let’s take it from the top, shall we?

The workers of the world, the triggered California college “students,” and the surfer-pothead alliance decided not to unite this year. Although the Bern is STILL out there running for comrade-in-chief, Hillary Clinton has officially clinched that nomination and has unleashed her screeching wrath of fury against the Donald.

Meanwhile, when Trump could have been shifting his campaign to the general election and sharpening his message, he instead spent his time criticizing a judge… for being… “Mexican.” (Hint: the judge was born in Indiana.) Says Trump: “He’s a Mexican. We’re building a wall between here and Mexico.” What a brilliant way to win votes!

Trump must have figured that he had a few Hispanic votes to lose after he so masterfully tweeted a picture of himself with a taco bowl on Cinco de Mayo. To remedy the whole situation, Trump said, “I love the Mexicans.”

Hillary and Trump each made a few speeches. There’s not a whole lot to take away from either other than Donald used a teleprompter, so we now know for certain that he knows how to read. Oh, and the worst Secretary of State in the history of the country received great reviews on her foreign policy speech from such neutral outlets as the New York Times and CNN.

Over the following weekend, the worst terrorist attack since 9/11 occurred, to which Trump said that he appreciated “the congrats” for being right on terror. That’s not exactly the way I would have phrased it, Donald, but I guess it is nice to have the whole world revolve around you.

Anyway, Clinton and Obama both came out to ensure the American public that it was our guns that made this atrocity happen and not Islamo-fascism. If we just gave up our last line of defense against terrorists when the PC ridden FBI can’t even protect us from them, then everything would be okay. But if we’re not going to give up our “assault” weapons, we might as well ban people from exercising their second amendment rights on the basis of a secret government watch list, right? I mean, after all, due process is what’s killing us.

If Trump had ever read the Bill of Rights or had any basic familiarity with it, this would be a perfect moment for him. He could say, “The Bill of Rights is great, frankly. The second amendment, great. The fifth amendment… Truly, I love all the amendments. And CROOKED HILLARY CLINTON doesn’t like the amendments. Oh no, she wants to VIOLATE every single one of them. I wouldn’t allow that. Let me say, NO ONE is better than me on guns (waves hands).” Or something along those lines. All he had to do was stand up for the Constitution, and he would have come out of this situation a big winner.

Unfortunately, he didn’t. Trump said that he would be meeting with the NRA, which has endorsed him, to discuss banning people on the terrorist watch list from buying guns. This is proof once again that Trump has no understanding of our founding principles.

As the geniuses at the New York Times were trying to figure out the terrorist’s “precise motivations” for killing 49 gay people, the Department of Justice announced that it would be releasing a redacted transcript of the 911 call the terrorist made to pledge his allegiance to ISIS, omitting every reference he made to Islam or the Islamic State. How will we ever know what the terrorist’s motivations were now?

Thankfully, just hours later, champion of free speech Barrack Obama and his administration released an un-redacted transcript. Phew.

An illegal immigrant attempted to assassinate Trump over the weekend. Since it hasn’t received much attention in the mainstream media, I won’t touch on it here.

On Monday morning, it was announced that Trump had fired his campaign manager, Corey Lewindowski. Apparently, Trump had decided that his rough and tumble staff of 30 people wasn’t going to cut it against Hillary Clinton’s over 700. To put a cherry on top of the whole situation, the Trump campaign released its financial report for the month of May. (Hint: it’s bad.)

Donald Trump is demonstrating that he either doesn’t know how to win or isn’t willing to do what it takes. Hillary Clinton, in her complete ineptitude, is somehow going to be able to ride on the coattails of the worst president in the history of the United States all the way to the oval office.

Thank you, Trump.

-Trevor Louis

 

 

 

 

 

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